Day 3 Of My Food-Free Living: What "I Can't Breath" really means.
Today is day 3 of my 21 day food-free living and here's my experience. If you have not been following my posts regarding this practice you can catch up on my daily rants on AbeCherian.com.
But first, let me be clear why I need to do this. It is truly to break some patterns in my life. Patterns like habit of worrying and fear of going beyond what I am comfortable. Honestly I am looking for a breakthrough of some sort.
I believe that if we stop challenging ourselves in life, we begin to retreat and growth never happens when we retreat.
My experience on day three of food-free living:
(For the sake of keeping this post short, I'll give you the direct information without going into the stuffy details)
I was up at 6:00 AM yesterday - did my morning routine and by 11:00 AM, I was feeling like a ragdoll with low energy mentally and physically.
What a contrast. The day before I was feeling elated with heightened awareness and feelings of bliss. Today, it's the exact opposite. I didn't feel like talking and so I decided to take a nap... I never ever nap in the middle of the day.
There was a feeling of restlessness in my body and mind and I was not able to sooth my nerves. I decided that I'll close my eyes and go within, and meditate.
Introspecting my inner body during meditation, I could feel my solar plexus area in turmoil. Suddenly out of nowhere I felt anger and shortage of breath. It was physically present, I could touch it an feel it solid in my stomach area. For a lack of a better word, it felt ugly and destructive. I felt like it had a grip on me and wouldn't let it go.
Anger for no particular reason? I was not angry at anyone that I can think of, and yet it was there expressing through me, weakening me further. I felt that it was not something that came out of the blue, it was there all the time.
I tried to fight it, suppress it, but the more I did I felt suffocated and out of breath. My stomach area was burning with heat, and I could feel the presence.
Suddenly, as if someone spoke to me through my own inner voice said.. "Acknowledge it, Surrender to it".
I started chanting The OM..OM.. Sound...internally... and simply let go, merged into it. I was drained by the end of it and slept of 20 minutes and woke up feeling lighter. Still feeling somber but lighter.
I woke up and felt hunger for the first time in 3 days. I needed something warm to drink and I felt a craving for food and flavor.
I knew "suppressing" that feeling may not be a good idea, but I also did not want to break my commitment of being food free.
I cooked myself a Vegetable Boullion without any solids.
The breakthrough that I got from day three of my 21 Day Food Free living is this...
Free Expression Is The Ultimate Freedom.
Suppressing your honest feelings and thoughts will rot your spirits from the inside.
We may not realize this but for the sake of being "civilized", we suppress a lot of our "authentic expressions".
People may not agree with you, but expressing yourself authentically will give you the Ultimate Freedom.
Suppressing your real feelings with eventually keep you weak, powerless, and with no clarity.
We sooth our suppressed feelings by pleasing our senses... with FOOD, with STUFF, and by INTOXICATING ourselves.
The Root Cause Of Racism And Sociopolitical Conflicts Is Not The Shades And Color Of Our Skin, It's The Lack Of Freedom To Express Ourselves Authentically.
Collectively, the problem is when one group suppressing the other to AUTHENTICALLY EXPRESS themselves.
The color of the skin is an EXCUSE humanity is hiding behind.
If you believe in FREEDOM, there should be freedom of expression FOR ALL beings.
When you suppress your own feelings, and actively suppress the free expressions of another group, CHAOS & ANGER is the ONLY reality.
If you call yourself a FREE NATION, the People have to be able to FREELY EXPRESS themselves - personally and culturally.
That is EXACTLY what George Floyd was trying to EXPRESS in his last words... "I CAN'T BREATH!"
The message from George Floyd was... "I CAN'T EXPRESS MYSELF".
People around the world want to come to America. Because America is branded as the only FREE NATION, people come here to EXPRESS themselves FREELY. The human spirit needs FREEDOM OF AUTHENTIC EXPRESSION.
God Bless America for trying!
PS. "I want freedom for the full expression of my personality" -- Gandhi